Thursday, November 16, 2006

whoever said my family was perfect.
whoever said my family was flawless.
whoever said my family was happy.

know the meaning of facade?
know the meaning of pretense?

well, go search the dictionary. n trust me, forever is a lie. =)


"i'm an escapist. in bid to protect myself, i withdraw frm the world n cease concern for others the moment the going gets tough."

tis is scorpio nature. basic instinct. dun blame me.

throughout my 18 years of existence, i hv come to embody pretty negative terms. selfish n self-centered ranks high on tt list. i even pride myself in my personal motto: "i love myself too much to allow myself to be hurt in anyway." even if it means hurting others in the process of 'self-protection'. n to not feel ashamed at all, i must be such a failure.

i didn't ask to be the oldest. n nv was i the person who u can count on the shoulder burdens n be the primary caregiver. trix hv been the true dajie despite her age n her position as 2nd. the young ones respect her for it. n to wan me to take on tis role is gd as telling me to live on bread n water for a whole yr. it mayb possible but i'm unwilling to do so. call me irresponsible. call me immature. tis is me. love me for it.



like they always say, ignorance is bliss.. i juz wanna stay tt way. disillusioned, in denial n happy in my lala land where "pain" is absent frm my dictionary.