Tuesday, July 11, 2006

i had a really awful dream last nite. there was an accident n my whole family disappeared leaving me all alone. me, always so dependent, always so naive, always so clingy, was left to my own resources. it was horrible horrible.

tt seriously woke me up. my pillow was all wet n my eyes were puffy. i guess i'm a whiner even in my dreams. it was tis wake-up call tt made me realise how much i'm neglecting tis family of mine.

the only time i speak to my siblings is to ask them to run errands. i only tok to mommy when i need money. n i only communicate wif daddy when i need a lift hm aft a nite in town. actually, i dun even tok to him when i need a lift. mostly is he call n offer or i msg mommy saying, "can get dad to pick me?"

so i tink i'm the epitome of rudeness. i wan my father to fetch but yet nv contact him directly. i didn't noe alisa lost her tennis racket. she's juz 2 mths away frm the biggest match of her tennis career n prob dun hv enough time to get used to a new racket. n brian quit tao nan's atheletic team to join the bball squad. trix flunked her mid-yrs n is feeling horrible. wat sorta big sis am i? all tis happened ages ago n i only juz found out. i couldn't offer help, i couldn't offer advice.

tis shows how insignificant my family is to me. but all tis will change. frm today onwards, i'll be the perfect daughter. the nice da jie. the joy tt they tot they lost when i entered poly. i promise.