Wednesday, October 19, 2005

its raining now. even the heavens is crying for me. its damn sad lah. as of today, i can say bye bye to my chances of getting to yr 2. hist managed a 33. a bloody 2 mrks for an AO. bloody hell. the whole world is against me lah. keep short of 2 mrks to get to nxt level. so near yet so far. wat the ****!! i bet tis entry will be super-duper draggy but i dunno wats happening in my life now. its juz a total wreck..

yala, i noe mr chus say will moderate. will use best 2 grades... given tis possibility, i may juz scrape through but hell, i dun wanna juz pass so narrowly. i noe its my fault for not studying harder than my hard or being more stupid than i expected but i juz can't be bothered anymore. an F when i studied. i really did lah. i went for consult. i did pass-yr qns. i tried. dammit.

lit tmr oso dunno how liao. idiotic me actually mistook the two mating eagles for two fighting eagles. i even said they "collided in mid-air". its so totally off-tangent lah. haiz. i so w/o hope. tis sux. my life sux. it is now worse as i'm kinda grounded bcoz of my terrible results. n the stupid sci cls demand to see the blue n silver glitter n glue tmr. n i can't go anywhere n everyone seems to be busy at something... mag n earth r prob going to bras basah's "art friend" to find tis body art thingy but "art friend" close damn early like at 6+ n they r both still in sch.. sianz... now yuvan oso busy.. =(

i miss damai. of rather i miss the ppl. at least there, i reaped the results of my hardwork. its been soo long since i last saw an A (except for math. but tt doesn't count...) i miss ting, cher, jj, haz, maz, xinyu, etc. hell, i even miss annoying ming fung n all those super competitive guys. at least i had fun. damai will be a 'home' mj will nv ever be. tis is the biggest mistake n greatest regret ever. i hate myself. i hate. i hate. i hate.

now an ee got me thinking abt my pw. if i cannot pass, will i really bother to put my heart n soul into it? i really doubt tt. haha. will prob be in some dark corner wallowing in self-pity or on the top floor of some hdb flat contemplating a vertical plunge of something. i'm not kidding. honest.