Thursday, October 20, 2005

daddy had a pay-cut. my life has officially gone topsey-turvey!! mommy says tt our lives hv to take 180 degree change. muz be more frugal even to the extent of having less air-con, no cable n no maid. i can die ar. since birth, i've nv ever went w/o a maid. then, i tot its was horrible having to change frm two maids to one. now, even worse... muz do my own housewrk, my own everything. n i'll really really miss aunty su when she goes hm. its been 10 yrs... more than half of my life.

there were many ups-and-downs, it was eventful n sometimes unpleasant. but at the end of the day, she was still there... more than a maid. somewhat like a fren or a sis. she may hv her flaws but i'm sure, i had mine too... although i knew abt tis painful good-bye in advance, i couldn't help but cry when the news was broken to her. she's soo rooted in my life, i can't bear to see her leave. esp when its so soon - nxt tues. mommy wants to let her celebrate hari raya puasa wif her family.

my heart melted when she kept reminding me to love my siblings, love my parents n most importantly, love myself. i really felt like crying all over again. she came into my rm juz now to ask me to forgive all her wrong-doings n tt she was v sorry. i was shattered. too devastated tt tis pillar of support is going hm... back to the place where she came frm 10 long yrs ago. i loved her. i did. n i'm too sorry for all tt i hv ever done wrong.

as mommy say, tis was inevitable. she would ultimately hv to return to indo. back wif her elderly parents, her ailing grandmother... get married n settle down. mommy's going to give her some $ to set up a small eatery to cook all the wonderful dishes tt we hv always loved.

gosh, i crying again... last wk, we celebrated her 33 yr old bdae. it wld be the last bdae we wld celebrate for her. she promised to sayang me in her heart wherever she may b. n letting her go, cld be better for her. aunty su, thank u for all u hv done. u've changed n influenced my life in unimaginable ways. i love u. n will definitely miss u alot. all the best. remembering u always n always. take care.